| Don’t say | Instead say |
| You shouldn’t feel that way | Please, help me to understand you |
| So, you can’t do any better? | What are you feeling right now? |
| Why did you do that? | Tell me, what happened? |
| You always do… | Does what I am doing bother you? |
| I’m always the one that has to do this | What is happening between us? |
| How could I do this in a different way? |
Other common obstacles for communication:
- Mandate to do something
- Talk too much
- Assume or make conclusions beforehand
- Negative body language (look distracted)
- Not making the time to listen
- Take total control of the situation
- Give advice or solutions
- Give warnings or threaten
- Criticize
- Judge negatively
- Make fun of them
- Sarcasm
- Question everything